February 2, 2016


1) Is Aura Alert only available for iOS?
Yes. Unfortunately, a cursory survey of Android users revealed such corrupt and degenerate Auras that we have decided we will need a much more robust version of Aura Alert to deal with them. We are working on it.

2) Are there any In-App-Purchases for Aura Alert?
No. There is, however; a paltry cost of one pound and forty nine of Her Majesty’s pennies. Less than an over-priced coffee, you know where I’m talking about.

3) How accurate is Aura Alert?
Aura analysis is not an exact science, however from many blind tests and feedback, we believe these results to be superior to all previous methods (Especially that charlatan Blavatsky!).

4) How is the advice arrived at?
The advice offered is based on algorithms developed by professor Fiendish himself. These are now considered intellectual company assets and are closely guarded. We cannot discuss this further.

5) How can I be sure I will improve my Aura?
The efficacy of the method is well documented. We believe those misguided souls who claim little benefit from AA, were not adhering to the Alerts properly (whether through laziness or by having little confidence in the method). In truth the Alerts can often seem unfathomable. However Auras are affected by a complex interaction with the cosmos and we would ask that users adhere to the advice as given (however ridiculous they may seem).

6) What if Aura Alert suggests I do something that is unseemly or even illegal in my principality?
Due to your particular personal circumstances you may not be able to complete a suggestion from an Aura Alert.
You will have to use your own sense (and sense of honour!) in deciding if an Alert is  merely outside of your comfort zone, or in fact illegal or a dangerous.

If you decide to reject the advice, certainly do not be crushed by an unassailable feeling of guilt. Simply wait a few moments and rescan your Aura. You will soon receive some advice, which although perhaps irksome, will not be illegal or an endangerment to health.

7) How often should I scan my Aura… can I do it too much?
Probably the most often asked question, and yet our so-called ‘web-mistress’ has chosen to place it at number 7!
It should be noted that ‘the very act of scanning your Aura will benefit your Aura to some extent and some people use repeated scanning. However there are no shortcuts to developing a truly magnificent Aura, so it is best to Scan regularly but a little each day and comply with the instructions given. It may be a good idea to choose a set time of day, perhaps when you wake, go to bed, or after meals.